The Groomzilla Exists.

I usually include images of my work in my blog posts, but in this case, I will tell a tale of a rare creature … The Groomzilla.  So, I’ve not included their names and kept the details vague to protect the innocent.

In the morning in question, I showed up at the groom's house at around 9 am to capture the groom and groomsmen preparing for their midday ceremony at the local church.   The groom was already drinking cans of beer.  We were working to a strict timeframe, and neither the groom nor his band of brothers were ready.  I suggested it might be time to suit up when the Groom was onto his third beer.  I'd already captured the images of the boy's tuxedos, accessories and rings, and I was struggling to get him moving. 

I told him that if the celebrant were to smell booze on his breath, they were obligated not to go ahead with the ceremony since a certificate of marriage is a legal document, something that one can't enter under the influence.   

Realising he'd be in big trouble if the ceremony couldn't proceed, He finally got up from the patio table and began getting ready.   

Once I got them all together, which was like herding cats, I finally got some great images of the lads before they headed to the ceremony location.

It was a pleasure working with the Bride and her bridesmaids. They were organised, focused, and lovely. The Bride asked,   "How were the boys?" 

"Relaxed,"  I said honestly.  "Everything was good to go when I left."

I shot all the bridal prep and told the girls I'd meet them at the ceremony.

When I arrive at a ceremony location, I usually capture touching images of the moments of a groom’s pre-wedding jitters, emotional anticipation, and even a few reticent tears.  Not these guys.   On arrival, I discovered the boys in the side room of the chapel, giggling, beers in hand.  In an attempt to get them to stop drinking, I told them that the Bride had asked I get some pre-ceremony images outside the chapel, so they’d have to put the beers down for a while.  I timed it so the shoot went right up to the moment the Bride’s limo arrived.    Drunken disaster averted.  

We got through the ceremony unscathed and moved on to the location shots.  The bridal party brought an esky of drinks with them, which isn’t unusual, but in this instance, the groom had quite the head start, and it was starting to show.  Throughout the shoot, I repeatedly asked him to put the beer away, even if it meant hiding it behind the Bride's dress.  I had to constantly ask him for the basics, like taking off his sunnies, and even just asking him to smile became an issue.

When the Bride realised he wasn’t smiling, she exclaimed, “We just got married!  Aren’t you happy?”

“I’d be happy if I were allowed to enjoy a beer on my wedding day!” Came the sharp reply. 

Smiling was an issue, walking through the park was an issue, kissing his new wife was an issue, and then the reception was an issue.  

I love taking candid shots at weddings.  They look natural and unrehearsed.  In this instance, the groom spent more time looking for me in the crowd to avoid having his photo snapped than just enjoying the wedding.  

By the night's end, I was beyond exhausted; my nerves were fried, and I realised I hadn’t been to the bathroom in over ten hours.  I was so worried that these images were going to be a disaster.  

I shouldn’t have worried. Despite the groom’s best efforts to sabotage what should have been a gorgeous and love-filled night, they were beautiful.  I was thrilled with the outcome, and so was the now-sober couple.  

Take some advice from a wedding photographer who’s been through this.   Enjoy a drink or two, but don’t get hammered!   Your speeches will be blurry, your dancing will be sloppy, and all you’ll have are gorgeous photos to remind you of your great time.